Ahhh the terrible twos. What a wonderful time…uh not! What the hell happened to my sweet little baby boy? I mean okay, he still is sweet, but MAN can he throw a tantrum. And these days he is very very deliberately, and mischievously disobedient. Yes, I have become that mom with the kid the runs away and makes a mess in stores too fast to catch him. Oh yes, and the same one that screams at the top of the restaurant, not because he is sad or mad, but just because he wants to scream. Did I mention flailing, biting, and pulling hair? This is all in one lovely evening people!!! Tonight to be exact. So when I got home I had a survival routine and I am going to share it with you.
1. Lock yourself in the bathroom.
2. Take a deep breath.
3. Unlock the door, don’t look at your child. Pour glass of wine.
4. Grab chocolate bar.
5. Return to bathroom.
6. Take a sip. Take a bite.
7. Close your eyes. Pretend you are in the Caribbean in a bikini and you have a body like Gisele.
8. Take a moment to listen for destruction, or perhaps worse, silence…
9. Finish glass of wine and chocolate.
10. Return to motherhood, as usual.
Here I am drinking a glass of wine whilst sitting on the beach in St. Lucia…errrr…my bathroom floor. Good luck, mommies! Cheers! ????????